Thursday, December 20, 2012

Photographing the Apocalypse

Well the day of the Mayan Apocalypse is upon us and it seems that I have been a little remiss in something. At one time I was toying with the idea of giving out some photography tips but that kind of fell to the wayside. Well if a Mayan Calendar is to be believed, this will be my last post. So here goes.

Well to properly determine the equipment to use, we first have to determine how it will happens. Since I'm a product of the eighties, my most likely scenario is a nuclear war. The Sov....err...Russians still have a few nukes they could launch at us, so it is still plausible. So if you're going to take pictures of this, make sure you wear a pretty good sunblock, as nuclear explosions are pretty bright. I'd also recommend a pretty serious filter on your camera as the flash could damage your film. Yes I said film because power would likely be knocked out, so you'll have to develop the film on your own. Also, make sure you're standing behind a solid wall or something as the shockwave could be pretty intense.

Now the other important thing is location. With the various treaties of the past few years, the Russians aren't going to shoot off their nukes willy nilly, so you have to make sure you're near a likely target. A large city is useful for that, if their maps haven't been updated in some time, Detroit would probably work. If you are out in the middle of nowhere, try an Air Force base. An abandoned one might work for this, as the Russians may not have caught on or they may not believe it.

The aftermath may be a little tricky as nuclear winter sets in....take that global warming nuts. It may be quite a bit darker, so it's important that you remove the filter. You may want a tripod for this. You may also want some firearms as looting may be prevalent. Pepto-Bismo may come in handy as one of the symptoms of radiation sickness is nausea. You may also want a hat because of the eventual baldness.

Another possible scenario is a massive plague. For this, may want wait it out as pictures of the plague itself won't be particularly interesting. Not to mention that you don't want to fall to it yourself.

What about asteroids or meteors? If you're lucky, you might catch them falling out of the sky. In that case, make sure you have an umbrella.

Heck, this thing may come right out of the Bible. So if a flood, make sure you have a boat. For locusts, good luck, bring lots of bug spray. And if you are the first born, good luck.

So there you have it. I hope this was helpful and happy photographing.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

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